The Faces of Recovery
ABOUT ALANNA
Alanna is a Licensed Clinical Addictions Specialist, Registered Yoga Instructor, and Certified Heartmath Trainer. Alanna has over 20 years of experience working in the addictions field. She spent 12 years working for Carolinas Healthcare alongside of Dr. George Raad in their medical detoxification program and then transitioned to the Intensive Outpatient program.
Alanna takes a holistic approach when working with clients combining the mind, body and spirit in counseling. She specializes in working with addiction and trauma. In addition, Alanna facilitates a men’s group working on gender-specific issues, trauma, and 12 step recovery issues. Alanna works with families of chemically dependent individuals to facilitate interventions. Lastly, Alanna provides clinical supervision for those seeking their certification in substance abuse counseling.
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www.breathewellnesscenternc.com
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WHAT FLIPPED ALANA’S LID?
Alana was removed from her mother’s home when she was two years old due to her mother’s mental illness. She was placed with her father and her aunt who had lost a child and in that home, she was transitioned into believing that her Aunt was her mother. Her mother, Bonnie, still had visitation and the process of transitioning was very confusing to her.
Alana remembers growing up in a Catholic environment and feeling connected to Jesus from a very young age. Even though her childhood didn’t make much sense to her, the connection with Jesus did.
TELL US ABOUT YOUR MOTHER’S DECISION TO HAVE YOU
Before there was a whole lot of knowledge about mental illness and during the deinstitutionalization movement, Alana’s mother was going to a psychiatrist with thoughts of harming herself. The doctor told Alana’s grandparents that her mother just needed a child to love. The burden placed on Alana from the beginning was to make her mother want to live.
HOW DID YOU AVOID CODEPENDENCY?
Alana did struggle with codependency and had to go through a lot of therapy and press into her faith and dependency on Jesus. She still has to check herself at times for appropriate boundaries.
WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU AS A LITTLE GIRL CARRYING THE WEIGHT OF ALL OF THIS?
Alana had learning disabilities and remembers going to special classes and being bullied to a certain extent. Because she moved around a lot, people never got a chance to get to know her. She really struggled because people didn’t have a lot of belief that she could be successful. She can remember looking at colleges and trying to go as far away as possible to get away from Bonnie.
WHAT WAS IT LIKE BEING AROUND HER?
Alana used to think it was her fault that her biological mother was ill. In the Catholic culture, there is a lot of guilt and shame. There was a statue of the Mother Mary and she always felt like she was watching her at all times.
As she grew up and came to understand that her aunt was her aunt that Bonnie was her mother, she carried a lot of responsibility for including her mother and spending time with her. She always felt very controlled by her mother and found activities in high school that allowed her mother to find her being away from her more acceptable.
Alana can remember dinners when the police would come and her mother would come in while everyone acted like everything was normal.
WHAT WORK DID YOU HAVE TO DO TO GROW TO WHERE YOU ARE TODAY?
For as long as Alana could remember, she’s been in therapy. Some therapists were better than others. Some would treat her like she was the problem and that if she could just be better behaved, everything would be better.
As a teen and young adult, she chose to be in relationships with people who were broken and that she thought she could fix, playing into the false identity placed on her from before she was born. When she met her husband she was amazed by his unconditional love. Without her relationship with Jesus, she might not have ever been able to understand that she didn’t have to earn love.
AT WHAT POINT IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR HUSBAND DID HE MEET YOUR BIO MOM?
They met at Alana’s graduation from the Army ROTC and she can remember that her mother refused to sign her out so that she could be with her boyfriend so she had someone forge her mother’s signature to avoid spending that time with her mother.
WHAT WERE YOUR BIGGEST CHALLENGES AS A WIFE AND MOM BECAUSE OF YOUR BACKGROUND?
Alana’s biggest challenge in a romantic relationship was understanding that someone could love you unconditionally. Her biggest challenge as a mother was finding the balance in not being too hard or too easy on her kids.
WHAT DO YOU LOVE MOST ABOUT PRIVATE PRACTICE?
Alana finds it very rewarding to see the shifts in people who come in angry and grow in courage to share with her. She can provide people with education and knowledge through teaching DUI classes. Alana points out the courage that it takes to show up to class, get their assessments and help them feel safe so they can learn. She is able to encourage people and give them the info to make different choices moving forward. Sometimes people come to class and realize they do have a substance use concern that they need to address. There’s an emotional progression that happens when shame isn’t part of the process.
HOW DID YOU FIND YOUR LOVE FOR ADDICTION RECOVERY?
When Alana transitioned back into her mother’s home, her stepfather was an alcoholic. She saw what a loving and incredible man he was when he was sober and he was an example of unconditional love for her. She knew that he had to be sick because there was no way he would be so abusive if he were sober.
When Alana was working a job she was unhappy in as a young mom, she asked God to help her find a new path. She remembered a calling for volunteers in a detox facility and said, “ Sign me up!”
IS BEING IN THIS FIELD PART OF YOUR HEALING PROCESS?
Alana saw the progression of her step-father’s disease and he ended up passing from cirrhosis of the liver. He lost his leg on Christmas Eve after an accident with a ladder. In the last days of his life, the only things she would find in his house was beer, no food at all.
Alana also met her birth father who was in recovery.
HOW DID YOU MEET YOUR BIRTH FATHER?
Facebook suggested him as someone she may know. She reached out and offered him the opportunity to share his story. Months went by and she didn’t hear anything. He finally responded and they were able to connect for him to share his story with her. In the beginning, she was constantly checking
His story was that he and her bio mom were young and they had already had her brother. She had left the relationship for a while so when she showed up pregnant again, he wasn’t sure if she was his. Her bio mom decided to give her up for adoption. When she went to meet him, her birth father didn’t want further contact with her so she decided not to push it. She did have the opportunity to meet with her brother.
WHAT ARE YOUR TOOLS FOR YOUR HEALING JOURNAL?
Alana is a CrossFitter and fitness is a way for her to get a healthy release. She loves to run and raised money for cancer to get a ticket into the NYC Marathon. She also loves comedy and loves to laugh. She also spends a lot of time with animals, including her therapy dog. Alana is also a yoga instructor.
WHAT FORM OF YOGA DO YOU RECOMMEND FOR TRAUMA HEALING?
Anything slow— no power. Anything restorative to slow the nervous system down is a good way to go. Breathe is her private practice in Concord.
WHAT SHOULD PEOPLE KNOW ABOUT YOUR PRIVATE PRACTICE?
People say it’s healing and peaceful and safe. She likes to teach clients tools that can be restorative after they leave the session.
Want to learn more about Alana’s story? Check out the full interview!
While you’re here, why not check out Kim’s book?
But Your Mother Loves You is the witty and candid tale of how a renowned psychotherapist moved from “not good enough” to “the right person” despite childhood neglect and a toxic relationship with her mother.
Everyone knows at least one person who demonstrates toxic love, someone who consistently jabs a straw in others and sucks the life right out of them. Without an in-depth understanding of how to navigate these relationships, most people continue to emotionally regress and remain paralyzed in familiar, pain-soaked patterns. But Your Mother Loves You helps readers overcome this cycle of toxicity.
Kim Honeycutt shares the real-life experience of how a shame-based, self-destructive little girl grew up to be a recovered alcoholic, entered the world of psychology as a professional, and created her own strategies to address and conquer toxicity.
This story, both witty and practical, is told through the lens of personal life experience and expert psychological strategies combined with Godly intervention. Readers learn how to either walk away from or walk with a toxic loved one without losing themselves. Covered in both vulnerability and clinical information, But Your Mother Loves You provides a step-by-step approach on how to stop toxic love and the subsequent self-abuse.